Friday, December 16, 2005

Pop died today at about 1:40 pm. He was 97. He broke his hip about a month or 5 weeks ago & got pneumonia. I could have kept him in the hospital but he would have been on life support and he didn't want that. So I let them move him into a convalescent hospital. His hip healed but he stopped eating. The pneumonia came back. When I came in, he was breathing hard, the nurse said "he's dying, this is the way it starts with pneumonia". I sat beside him while his lungs filled up. My brothers were flying in airplanes over the pacific to be here. He gasped a few times & died. The nurse came up and held a stethoscope against his chest and looked at the clock. She was patronizing & only slightly vulturene, (as opposed to the hospice workers who are actually repulsive) and offered condolences. I said "thank you", but meant "go away". I sat beside him for awhile & a physical therapist came in & said to Pop in a loud jolly voice : Hello Mr. Cornelius, How are you feeling today?" I said "he's gone", The therapist looked at me then at pop & then said "I'm sorry" and left. I held Pops' hand & said "go hunting pop, & bring home some bacon". It's something he always said before he'd leave to go hunting when I was a kid.

Then I took my dog for a walk in Doyle park where he played with some other dogs in a fenced in area for dogs that they close off in the winter so it won't get muddy, but people lift the gate and go in any way. There was a rotwieller and a brindle sausage shaped mutt. My dog has no social graces and he dumped in the middle of the play yard. People put plastic bags on the fence for just such occasions, & I used one.

Then we drove back to the convalescent hospital and retrieved Pops' things (clothes, shoes, razor, hearing aid). My older brother sent a bouquet from Hawaii, I put it all in a plastic bag & put that on the passengers seat of my car. I drove back to moms' apartment, she was asleep so I worked on my computer for an hour sending out emails to family, till she woke up & I told her. She'd been expecting it for awhile so she didn't break up. I verified that she had plenty to live on and the car was running (though she hasn't driven for 8 years & has no license).